i don't want to be friends, yet

A few months ago, a certain friend cut ties and i gladly accepted her choice thinking it would be best to stay away from each other for a while, to cool down, to reassess things and to just stay away from whatever things we don't like. To be able to think outside the situation, after all she was a good friend. It was normal to get into each other's nerves, right?

I was ready to make amends. But she wasn't. She pointed out the attacks we hurled at her and our reactions which, i admit, are childish yet valid. I need not re-hash the entire story but i stand by what i said: it wasn't our fault.

Apparently, she is really hurt and unwilling to settle. Settle maybe is a wrong word for she wants to forget us entirely and the series of events which led us here, angry and unfriendly. She doesn't want to talk about what happened while a lot of things remain unexplained and are begging to be discussed.

I said i was ready to make amends but not anymore. YOU have no right to be hurt more than we are. You cannot hate us more than we hated you. You have no right to say "forget the friendship" because it wasn't our fault. Yes, we had our lapses but could you not forget them? Be fair, yours were worse but we are ready to forgive. Off-setting! We are ready to become your friend again, the least you can do is accept our offer. And to reject it? How dare you.

I know hate is such a strong word but suffice it to say, im a level or two below hating you right now. And if i see you tomorrow, i'd pretend i've seen a stranger. If i see you next year, i'd probably smile. If i see you this summer, i'd probably say Hi. If i see you in a decade, i'd probably hug you. But not tomorrow.