"she wanted to be brave"

she sat there reading a book but her mind was away. sensing heavy footsteps only one person could own, Tom.

hello there, he said. his voice sounded like he had a surprise but rehearsed and lacking. in another day, it would have been fine. she was suddenly aware of  nuances in his voice.

she raised her head looked up at him with longing for someone whom she will never see again and finally said, if you gotta leave, you better get going.

why, he asked genuinely confused.

so i could start moving on, her head bowed down. flipped a page, a desperate attempt at nonchalance.

he stared blankly at the top of her head and turned his back.

the loud footsteps are inaudible to her now, she thought he must have skipped. happy and light. tears ran down her face while she tried to blink them away.

she wondered, did he always have such light steps?

she will never know he looked back. sad and sorry. it was not built to last.

all she could see now was his broad back blurred with her tears. she closed her eyes with hope those lids would effectively shut close the gateway of pain.

ah how she wanted to take back those last few minutes. live in a lie a little longer. discuss and fight for him. or stall moving on no matter how. but clearly he could not anymore. he only asked why and was gone just like that. quick just like their short love story.

the world weeps with her as heavy rain falls. but all she could think was Tom had never owned an umbrella and that he might catch a cold.

music: emerson hart's "if you're gonna leave"